I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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