You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
