i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
