i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
