You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
