yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
not ubering you a puppy
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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