i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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