you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
soo... how was my night?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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