had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize