dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
