You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
