I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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