Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
