i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
