I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize