get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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