well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
