what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
