There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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