Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
