I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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