are you still at the devil's house?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
