I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
