I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
