I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
