Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
