theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
