How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
