can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
