I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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