Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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