Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can't put those talents on a resume
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
