What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
