I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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