I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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