you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
