i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
