we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
