I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
