is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
