thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
