So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
