I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
