I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
