I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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