I wanna passion pit in your ass
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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