I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
