Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
