Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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