He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
